i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
