im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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