dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
