3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
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