ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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