I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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