thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
