I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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