I hate your face
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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