shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
