Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
