You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
