And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
