what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
tell me about the fingering
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