As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
