Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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