Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
