i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize