Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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