well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
