cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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