I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
