i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
