I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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