i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
