My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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