so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Randomize
