My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Barsexuality is the new black.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
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That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
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Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette