i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden