if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.