I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am available for nakedness
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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