Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
