During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
