Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
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It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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