I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
