He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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