im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
