the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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