Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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