He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN