is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.