Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

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  (708): I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there (217): Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is http://tfl.nu/zrn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1311) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!

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  (870): Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!! http://tfl.nu/9cgb
  Replies (63) Good night (1095) Bad night (2241)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.

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  (651): It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave. http://tfl.nu/tj8s
  Replies (87) Good night (616) Bad night (4413)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated

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  (859): I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated http://tfl.nu/4ho0
  Replies (38) Good night (4333) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked

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  (516): Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked http://tfl.nu/j7ko
  Replies (3) Good night (3354) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER

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  (504): I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging. (504): Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER http://tfl.nu/kpd3
  Replies (38) Good night (6193) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........

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  (781): the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away.......... http://tfl.nu/eso1
  Replies (32) Good night (854) Bad night (8443)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning

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  (803): Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning http://tfl.nu/hoox
  Replies (25) Good night (4656) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover

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  (937): Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/h2d8
  Replies (56) Good night (3106) Bad night (6514)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.

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  (224): Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like. http://tfl.nu/j59v
  Replies (26) Good night (6864) Bad night (1316)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.

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  (571): I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this. http://tfl.nu/xlyp
  Replies (6) Good night (3414) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?

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  (954): Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart? http://tfl.nu/oywi
  Replies (8) Good night (3826) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito

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  (702): I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito http://tfl.nu/vmgk
  Replies (4) Good night (1807) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?

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  (314): New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there? http://tfl.nu/271n
  Replies (4) Good night (1680) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast

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  (563): I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast http://tfl.nu/ae47
  Replies (2) Good night (919) Bad night (384)

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