the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Pooping to opera.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
