i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
