Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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