I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She bit a glass in half.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
