I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
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There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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