the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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