And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
