I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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