I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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