what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
