ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
