Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize