this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
