The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize