Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
