Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
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