Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize