I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
