i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize